MATING STRATEGYS

 

"What we find attractive isn't an accident. It’s evolved for millions of years. Women want men with good genes and the resources to provide for her and her children. And men want young, fertile women who exhibit good motherly traits like gentleness." ECCENTRIK HAT - TWITTER

Evolution gave humans 2 strange body modifications, walking on 2 legs that requires a narrow pelvis and big brains that gave babies big heads. Obstetrical dilemma - Wikipedia
As a result we had to be born prematurely, females had to rely on the provisioning of males for the offspring to survive. 

The optimum reproductive strategy for men and women are very different. Men evolved for QUANTITY, impregnate as many women as possible to maximise the odds of passing on genes.
Top 10 MEN With The MOST KIDS - YouTube
In practice only a tiny proportion of men achieve this. Plan B for men would be to shoot for long term provisioning with one woman instead.

Women are limited in how many offspring they can have so they evolved for QUAILITY. Pregnancy and childbirth are dangerous sometimes even life threatening so getting mate selection wrong could have severe consequences. Women need a man who who has 1) good genetics (alpha male) and 2) is a good long term provider (beta male). But like men few women actually achieve the optimum reproductive strategy.

PLAN A - Find a man with both good genetics and good provider qualities. These are almost never found in the same man but it doesn't stop modern women spending decades of their lives trying to find him. Women’s Greatest Problem: The Myth of the Submissive Alpha Male - Alpha Male 2.0 (alphamale20.com) 

PLAN B - Find an Alpha male, have his babies then attempt to convert him into a Beta male. This is where the female fantasy of changing / taming / fixing a bad boy comes from. The high rates of single motherhood show how unsuccessful this actually is.

PLAN C - Find an Alpha male, have his babies, then when the relationship fails find a Beta male to help raise his children. This is why a woman who spent her 20s dating tattooed gym rats suddenly decides she want a normal nice guy with a job in accounts when she hits middle age.

Obviously men's and women's optimum reproductive strategy directly conflict with each other. This is the root cause of the conflict between the sexes. 

A man who marries a single mother and helps raise another mans children is applauded by women because he is complying with women's reproductive strategy at the expense of his own. 

A middle aged man who dates younger women is usually shamed by women for complying with his own reproductive strategy. Check out the comments section next time you see an article about Leonardo DiCaprio with his latest 25 year old model. It will be full of hate telling him "grow up", "settle down" and "date women his own age". Yet none of them will attack these women for knowingly dating a man with a long track record of using and discarding dozens of women who came before them.

BIOLOGY Vs SOCIETY

Our primeval biology and what is deemed acceptable to society also conflict.

A man who gets a women pregnant then walks away is deemed a "dead beat dad" by society. Biologically he is a success for passing on his genes with the minimum amount of investment.

A woman who has 4 kids with 4 different men is deemed a "welfare queen" by society. Biologically she is a success for passing on 4 copies of her genes with the maximum amount of  genetic variation.

A man who supports a single mother is deemed a good man for "stepping up" by society. Biologically he is a failure for raising another man's children.

A childless career women is deemed a success by society but biologically she is also a failure.




 


MONOGAMY - THE PROS AND CONS

 

"Marriage is an institution necessary to the maintenance of society but contrary to the laws of nature". Honore de Balzac

Only around 15% of human cultures have been monogamous and it seems to have existed in it's present form for a few thousand years at the most. This seems to have come about when humans moved away from their hunter gather lifestyles and started to settle.

It restricted the most feral aspects of human reproductive behaviour. Average women had to make do with average men while the top men were restricted to just 1 wife. The socially enforced distribution of one man to one woman had massive benefits to society. A man with a wife and child to support is the most productive person in it. I would go as far to say that marriage effectively built civilization by kerbing the violent tendencies shown by the majority of men who live in Polygamous cultures. Society's with enforced monogamy were more likely to survive than the ones without it.

Monogamy also shaped human mating choices on an individual level. The only socially acceptable way for a person to have sex was within marriage. Therefore men had to demonstrate long term provisioning potential (training to be a doctor for example) in order to get the best possible wife. 

Women had to take the long term view of compatibility when choosing her husband. Due to her Obsolete biology she would have still found the unemployed local thug attractive but would have never been able to take him home to meet her family. 

Marriage was essentially a contract where the woman gave a man exclusive sexual access and raised his children. A man would work and provide for his family for the rest of his natural life. 

MONOGAMY HAS IT'S DOWNSIDES

By directly conflicting with human nature monogamy required society to police it. This is why organizations like the church had harsh rules against adultery and sex before marriage. It was never perfect of course and certain individuals had their lives destroyed as a result of this enforcement. Magdalene Laundries in Ireland - Wikipedia. People were stuck in marriage for life as it was traditionally very difficult to get out. 

It was the classic dilemma of what's good for society isn't necessarily good for individuals.  


OBSOLETE BIOLOGICAL WIRING

 


"While our lifestyle and culture have changed radically, we are still walking around in the same bodies and thinking with the same brains as the cavemen of thousands of years ago" CALEB JONES - THE UNCHAINED MAN.

Human beings evolved in a world full of scarcity and danger where you could be attacked by your rival tribe at any time or it might be 3 days until you can eat after a successful hunt. In the 21st century things couldn't be any more different but we still process the world around us using these outdated hardwired instincts. The consequences of this include........

OBESITY 

It made perfect sense 10,000 years ago to crave high energy foods and to easily store that excess energy as fat. It makes no sense whatsoever to have those same cravings when your sitting in an office all day with Dunkin Donuts next door. This kills around 2.8 million people a year. Statistics - EASO

FEAR

Evolution made us afraid of things that pose an immediate threat like snakes and heights but not of things that were far more likely to kill us in the long run such as smoking tobacco. You're afraid of the wrong things: What evolution made you scared of versus what actually might kill you | CBC Life There are many irrational fears that fall into this category such as racism. 

JEALOUSY

Due to our past where humans practiced POLYGAMY, men are hardwired to believe women are a scarce resource to be guarded at all costs. A majority of the fights you see outside nightclubs between young men are a common symptom of this territoriality.

RIDICULOUS MATE SELECTION

You see a beautiful, intelligent woman with a complete deadbeat of a man. A bully, neck tattoo, shady criminal past and wonder why? Women are pursuing men with traits that would have been advantageous thousands of years ago.

LOGICAL FALLACIES

Human's are hardwired to survive and reproduce not rationally analyse the world around us. We have developed methods to keep us in good standing with our tribe even if that means denying and rationalizing evidence that's right in front of us.

List of fallacies - Wikipedia








POLYGAMY - THE DEFAULT STATE OF HUMAN BEINGS



"For every top warrior and hunter that has 4 wives means 3 men are going to go without...that's just tournament life bro" COLTTAINE - YOUTUBE

Lifelong monogamous marriage has only existed for the last few thousand years. Without it the top ranking men reproduced with multiple women. We see this today with indigenous cultures especially in places like Africa. Polygamy remains common and mostly legal in West Africa | West Africa Gateway | Portail de l'Afrique de l'Ouest (west-africa-brief.org)

According to DNA studies at least twice as many women reproduced at men. Strong gender differences in reproductive success variance, and the times to the most recent common ancestors - PubMed (nih.gov)  At some point around 8000 years ago this ratio grew to 17 to 1. 8,000 Years Ago, 17 Women Reproduced for Every One Man - Pacific Standard (psmag.com)

The history books tell us of a small number of highly prolific men who had dozens if not hundreds of wives and concubines. One of the most famous examples being Genghis Khan. Genghis Khan's genetic legacy has competition | Nature

POLYGAMY HAS IT'S DOWNSIDES

When the "top men" take multiple women it means multiple "lesser men" are going to go without. These men are not only deprived of sex and watch the top men get it all. But also have no incentive to invest in social stability and as a result theses society's are violent and unstable. 

You don't have to look any further than the middle east where Islam allows 1 man to take 4 wives. It's never these men with multiple wives joining extreme groups like ISIS or blowing themselves up (for the promise of women in the next life).

 Monogamy and Violence | Psychology Today United Kingdom

Polygynous Neighbors, Excess Men, and Intergroup Conflict in Rural Africa - Carlo Koos, Clara Neupert-Wentz, 2020 (sagepub.com)

Likewise it's always single, lonely celibate men doing the school shootings in America and never the captain of the sports team who is banging all the cheerleaders.

RECOMMENDED VIEWING 27:50 - 33:20 Of Monkeys and Men by Colttaine https://youtu.be/BqiSwahrfZE?t=1670