"I’ve been friend-zoned before and remember it being some of the most frustrating, mentally clouding times of my life. The friend-zone is anguishing. Overcoming it happened when I started assuming every girl has slutty tendencies and will use weak guys for money, attention, gifts, or whatever it is that they are lacking." GOLDMUND
A common parasitic social arrangement where a man is attracted to a women, but she is not attracted to him. This can sometimes happen after a relationship ends. Instead of doing the right thing and giving a man the courtesy of not wasting their time with a woman who has no romantic interest in them. The woman will always make the offer of "Let's just be friends". She knows full well that he wants more than that but offers him "friendship" for no other purpose than to string him along for attention and favours.
The woman dangles the carrot of sex or a potential relationship but keeps it just out of reach. She bombards him with compliments such as "you are a great man", "You'd make a great boyfriend but not right now", or the ironic "I wish my boyfriend was like you". Sometimes she puts her arm around him as they walk down the street or he might get a quick drunken kiss on New years eve.
The woman takes advantage of the mans good nature and the fact he's attracted to her to manipulate him to do things such as. Buying her drinks when she's short of money, helping her move house or being a shoulder to cry on when her relationships with players and bad boys reach their obvious conclusion.
It's not in her interest for the man to get into an actual relationship with another woman. She gives him dating "advice" that will never work such as "just be yourself" and "you don't need to change for anyone".
If the man complains or calls out her behaviour the standard responses are "Being nice doesn't entitle you to my body" and "You are not owed sex for anything". She shames the man for trying to get sex out of the friendship to cover up the fact she's using the same friendship to get attention and favours. These standard lines are shaming tactics to make the man feel guilty about wanting sex by the same women who are having lots of sex themselves.
The man wouldn't feel that he was "owed sex" if she wasn't stringing him along in a way to suggest that sex would happen in the first place. He was playing by the very rules that she has clearly stated that would work and demonstrating to her that he was good relationship material.
Even worse is the fact that the woman has sex with lots of men who don't play by her rules (players and bad boys) often within a few hours of meeting them at the club. While he gets strung along for months or even years without getting anything. Yet he is the one condemned for calling out her hypocrisy.
“For every woman who complains she was used for sex, there are hundreds of male orbiters a woman used for male attention whom she didn't intend to have sex with, but made them think they had a shot.”
The woman who claims "nice guys are not entitled to sex" is almost always the same woman who thinks that by having spontaneous sex with a good looking player it entitles her to his commitment. She constantly complains about being "sex zoned" but sees nothing wrong with stringing along men. The male player gets sex while giving minimal time/attention while the female player gets time/attention while giving minimal sex. In both scenarios society will never blame the woman.
The easiest solution is to learn how to identify friend zoning and avoid it happening in the first place.
Recommended reading The Utility of Beta Men – Part I (therationalmale.com)
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