BITTER MIDDLE AGED WOMAN

 

A story of how a female friend of mine was ruined by online dating.
Cindy is a newly divorced, 40-year-old mother of 2 and wants to make the most of her newfound freedom. She has lots of girls' nights out which usually includes lots of alcohol. Cindy engages in multiple one-night stands and short-term relationships often with much younger men that she meets in the local pubs. 

Within a couple of years, one of her close friends moves away and another gets into a serious relationship. Cindy is a bit tired of the party life combined with the chores of being a single mother and juggling a part-time job. At this point, she makes the decision to find a serious relationship of her own.

Cindy turns to online dating and makes the exact same mistakes most women make. Her profile is a lengthy list of "demands". He must be tall, good-looking, own a house/car, be physically fit etc. At the same time, stating nothing as to what such a man would get from a relationship in return. Her ex-husband who she brought 2 children into the world didn't meet any of these standards.

Cindy fails to understand that only around 1 or 2% of the male population fit this criteria. The men who do will have their pick of young, attractive childless women. They are not going to be settling down with middle-aged divorced mothers of 2. She goes on first date after first date ruthlessly rejecting most men for not meeting her standards. She demands multiple dinner dates before sex, forgetting that just a few years earlier she was more than happy to go home with random men she just met.

Sometimes she gets a man she likes but predictable as clockwork It goes wrong. He doesn't stick around, cheats, or both. All of this is broadcast on social media where an army of equally deluded women and male orbiters reinforce her ridiculous dating choices.

Nobody dares to tell her the truth, lose a few pounds, be more realistic about the type of man you can have and drop the “girl boss” personality. Cindy does the exact opposite and doubles down on her choices. She rejects hundreds of men who would have made good partners and stepdads in a futile attempt to land Mr Top few %.

In the next decade, she spends a total of around 4 months in a relationship. Getting more desperate and frustrated as time goes by. She goes through strong and independent phrases telling everyone how she doesn't need a man. Yet every time I look at her dating profile it reads “online today”. Cindy broadcasts her mental health issues and even the medication she is taking. Driving any potential male suitors away even further.

Cindy is now in her mid-50s and hasn't been in a relationship for at least 5 years to my knowledge. There is no doubt in my mind that online dating has ruined the second half of her life. In the pre-internet era, she'd be years into a second marriage by now.